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Wanted: Drunk 'n' Alive

by The Royal Spuds

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1.
2.
[Chorus] Wanted Wanted Wanted Drunk 'n' alive Wanted Wanted Wanted Drunk 'n' alive [/Chorus] A little saloon at a fork in the road Th'appearance is sober, the atmosphere low The horse trough is busted the doors fallen out Yet still I'm lured in by the sweet smell of stout As I walk in the bar I find seventeen men All looking at me, then back down again Two seconds in, the music has stopped They show me a poster, I know that I'm fucked [Chorus] They all know what I’ve done The patrons are restless, they're shouting out loud The bartender's friendly, "first one's on the house" I pick up the pint, I drink and I spit Then ax the old bastard, "the fuck is this shit?!" He says and explains, "it's simple my friend" "Your bounty's my life, I can't pay my rent" "So I poured you the finest black stout that we have Topped off with whiskey and porter and dram" [Chorus] The madness has begun [Bridge] I slam the pint and start to walk the crowd has fallen still I'm trying to make my way back to the door then suddenly a chill I try to push on when all the lights go out It's hard to relax with a man on your chest and a bottle in your mouth! [/Bridge] A punch on the kidney, a kick in the spleen This must be the best feckin 'barfight i've seen ten against one, the chances are slim The bartender ran, things are looking grim The darkest of moments, a space opens up For me to escape through while drinking my rum I made it outside now, away from the heat off to the next town, five minutes to breathe [chorus] They’ve got me drinking on the run
3.
[chorus] Make way for the Molly Maguires They're drinkers, they're liars, but they're men Make way for the Molly Maguires You'll never see the likes of them again [/chorus] Down the mines no sunlight shines Those pits they're black as hell In modest style they do their time It's Paddy's prison cell And they curse the day they traveled far And drown their tears with a jar [chorus] Backs will break and muscles ache Down there there's four times to three Of fields afar of a womans arm Just dig that bloody seam Though they drain their bodies and their brow Who dare to push them around [chorus]
4.
In the year of 1942 In the sixth month of the year Father McIntyre said goodbye To his son out on the pier Duncan he got shipped away To a far and foreign land Bravely he got on the boat With his chanter in his hand And we’ll sing ooh Ooh ooh We will remember you For everything you went through We’ll sing ooh Ooh ooh Duncan McIntyre This one’s for you When he arrived he joined the 51 st To lead the 5 th Black Watch To win the battle at Al Alamein And celebrate with scotch They surprised the Axis late at night The Black Watch was inbound Duncan’s chanters droning through the dark Axis woken by the sound Chorus The Italians got up And found their rifles in the dark Mortars blasting through their tents Powder igniting with a spark Rifles fired as the Trento charged The Black Watch had their fight Duncan he got shot three times Didn’t make it through the night Chorus The stories that are told Remember Duncan as he was After the first shot he kept playing Supporting 5 th without a pause The second shot did take his breath There on that faithful night Duncan fell onto the ground But still he was alright After the third shot Duncan started off The regimental march Highland Laddie blasting through the pipes The 5 th increased their charge When the fight was fought and won Duncan lay dead there on the ground With still his fingers on the chanter And his pipes under his arm Chorus
5.
Every morning at seven o'clock There were twenty-seven Tarriers drilling at the rock The boss comes along and he says, "Keep still And come down heavy on your cast iron drill." Chorus And drill, ye Tarriers, drill Drill, ye Tarriers, drill For it's work all day for the sugar in you tay Down beyond the railway And drill, ye Tarriers, drill And blast, and fire. The boss was a fine man down to the ground And he married a lady six feet 'round She baked good bread and she baked it well But she baked it harder than the hobs of Hell. chorus The foreman's name was John McCann By God, he was a blaming man Last week a premature blast went off And a mile in the air went big Jim Goff. chorus And when next payday came around Jim Goff a dollar short was found When he asked, "What for?" came this reply "You were docked for the time you were up in the sky." chorus
6.
[ chorus] What if we told you, We even serve the devil We pour him in every glass You'll find drunk folks on every level What a mess, oh what a mess What the hell, what the hell One will shout out to oneself We have the finest personnel Welcome to the Whisky Tango The Whisky Tango Hotel! [/chorus] Welcome Lads 'n Lassies To the finest Inn in town The beds are made, the staff is great The drinks are all around First class rooms and service Will leave you feeling frisky mirrors on the ceiling a mini bar with whisky chorus You´re head is feeling heavy What the hell is going on Guess you found our secret (stash) On the second floor, room 201 Now we have to blindfold you And take you to the shed Now don't you worry, about a thing This won't be so bad chorus When we remove the blindfold You won't believe your eyes The old shed in the backyard was only a disguise What a splendid audience what a splendid sight at the Whisky Tango Hotel you'll party all damn night! chorus
7.
The time, the time, the time is right It's time to step out of the light To find my pub and go inside And keep on drinking through the night! I lift my head up with a grin Because all of my mates walk in We're up for booze, we're up for sin Let a night of fun begin! Time and time and time again When I'm out drinking with my friends A few more hours we must append A night like this should never end! We raise a glass of malt or blend Until we can no longer stand A few more hours we must append A night like this should never end! No matters we need to attend Into a stupor we'll descend A few more hours we must append A night like this should never end!
8.
Finally found the pub I've been looking for my whole life Finally found the pub I adore Finally found the pub where I’ll meet my next ex-wife And after her many more It’s the pub where I’ll get drunk me boys The pub where I will die The pub where I’ll spend all me days And douse my candlelight So drink with me that one last drink We’ll dance all through the night In the pub where I spent many days I’ll go down without a fight There’s no place like home they said, but I’ll prove them wrong I’ll stay in this pub forever But five minutes later nonetheless they kicked me out For drinking too much again I’ll go home and I’ll get drunk me boys At home is where I’ll die At home I will spend many days And douse my candlelight So drink with me that one last drink We’ll dance all through the night In the pub where I spent many days I’ll go down without a fight Tonight I’ll go back again and drink that final drink I’ll try to make it ‘till last call I won’t let them kick me out again, I won’t let them win When I get my drink I can die in peace I’ll drink until I’m drunk me boys I’ll drink until I drown I’ll drink until that final drink Will finally get me down So drink with me that one last drink We’ll dance all through the night When the barkeep shouts last call I’ll be down without a fight When the barkeep shouts last call I’ll be down without a fight
9.
I know I drank too much last night But I don’t really care My friends have told me what I’ve done So I thought I’d share. They told me I had thrown up All over Marky’s floor I slipped and fell, rolled down the stairs And crashed right through the door And then I got right up again Ran out into the snow My friends they all ran after me To see where I would go Another, another forgotten Friday night I woke up black and blue again, I’m sure it was a sight. Another, another forgotten Friday night I’m still not sure of what I did, But I think I’ll be all right. I ran and ran until I fell Into someone’s backyard They must’ve told me that as well Because I woke up scarred Then I broke out into song I sang until I retched They dragged me back inside again And stretched me on the bed Another, another forgotten Friday night I woke up black and blue again, I’m sure it was a sight. Another, another forgotten Friday night I’m still not sure of what I did, But I think I’ll be all right. Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo You know, I’ve tried every cure against a hangover But the best cure is… keep drinking! They didn’t tie me up So I ran down the stairs again Started chugging all their beers Made fun of all my friends They took me down, fell to the ground Gave me a throw-up cup They strapped me to the bed this time And that’s when I woke up
10.
On the fourth of July, 1806 We set sail from the sweet cove of cork We were sailing away with a cargo of bricks For the grand city hall in New York 'twas a wonderful craft She was rigged fore and aft And oh, how the wild wind drove her She stood several blasts She had twenty seven masts And they called her the Irish rover We had one million bags of the best sligo rags We had two million barrels of stone We had three million sides of old blind horses hides We had four million barrels of bones We had five million hogs And six million dogs Seven million barrels of porter We had eight million bales of old nanny-goats' tails In the hold of the Irish rover There was awl Mickey Coote Who played hard on his flute When the ladies lined up for a set He was tootin' with skill For each sparkling quadrille Though the dancers were fluther'd and bet With his sparse witty talk He was cock of the walk And he rolled the dames under and over They all knew at a glance When he took off his pants That he sailed in the Irish rover There was Barney McGee From the banks of the Lee There was Hogan from county Tyrone There was Johnny McGurk Who was scared stiff of work And a man from Westmeath called Malone There was Slugger o'Toole Who was drunk as a rule And fighting Bill Tracy from Dover And your man, Mick MacCann From the banks of the Bann Was the skipper of the Irish rover We had sailed seven years When the measles broke out And the ship lost its way in the fog And that whale of a crew Was reduced down to two Just myself and the captain's old dog Then the ship struck a rock Oh lord! what a shock The bulkhead was turned right over Turned nine times around And the poor old dog was drowned I’m the last of the Irish rover

credits

released July 27, 2013

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The Royal Spuds Leiden, Netherlands

A bit of punk, a pinch of good old rock music and whole lot of folkie tunes is what The Royal Spuds call throwing a party in style!

Be it studio, festival or concert venue, these guys feel at home everywhere. So, if you want a party, you know where to go!
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