It's a Feckin' Freakshow

by The Royal Spuds

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1.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, don't be afraid to step right up! Be enchanted, blown away, but above all, be amused. The following acts will unveil the world's many faces! Faces with or without a smile, faces of sadness with stubborn frowns. Filled with malice, mischief, bile, the fools, the jokers and the clowns. Release the monsters and the men, upon a world so woebegone. We say you time and time again, the freakshow of life is always on... Let us begin...
2.
Release the monsters and the men There’s madness you won’t understand Don’t make a peep, don’t make a sound The Feckin’ Freakshow’s back in town Unseen offences on your mind Will make you vulnerable inside You’re letting all the demons in Indifference, a deadly sin Your senses trampled underfoot Brainwashing all the neighbourhood There’s no defence at the estate Stay inside, they’re at the gate But if you’re looking for some fun Come on down, we’ve just begun We welcome one, we welcome all At our haunted carnival An eerie feeling crawling up Your spinal cord, devoid of blood Controlling chaos with a grin Combining chills on bones and skin We may be mad, but not insane The crowd's support is what we aim for Join us, in our game of chance Face your fears, clap your hands Commanding reason, fear and greed Complete obedience we need Free will that wasn’t even there Now in a state of disrepair You think you’re safe? Think again Illusions that will understand The time it takes to judge and frown The Feckin’ Freakshow’s back in town
3.
Somebody`s under the bed Whoever can it be? I feel so very nervous I call for Joanee Joanee lights the candle But there’s nobody there Hey! Hi! Diddeleedai And out goes she Skipping rope still turning Children at their play In and out of Clarendon Street In and out to pray I haven’t prayed for twenty years Or sung a happy song Since praying went with innocence And the devil played along And we all went up to the Mero Hey there! Who’s your man? It’s only Johnny ‘40 coats’ Sure he’s a desperate man Bang Bang shoots the buses With his golden key Hey! Hi! Diddeleedai And out goes she Me father was a stater And me mother loved a tan She loved her Hafner’s sausages And her soldier fancy man Noel’s up in Jacob’s And Mary’s on the town And I joined the transport union When they said me nose was brown And we all went up to the Mero Hey there! Who’s your man It’s Alfie Byrne out walking Sure he’s a decent man Bang Bang shoots the buses With his golden key Hey! Hi! Diddeleedai And out goes she I’ve a tanner for the Mero And me confo money’s hid If Mary’s in the family way She can blame the Cisco kid I’ll be langers in the morning Me longers need a patch Ah, Jesus! There’s Con Martin I hope he’s won the match Me uncle had a wolfhound That never had to pee But Hairy Lemon snatched it Down on Eden quay Now I have me primo And me scapulars are blue For helping the black babies And Dolly Fossett too And we all went up to the Mero Hey there! Who’s your man? It’s Brendan Behan out walking Sure he’s a ginger man Bang Bang shoots the buses With his golden key Hey! Hi! Diddeleedai And out goes she It’s true that Dublin’s changing Since the pillar was blown down By the winds of violence That are buggering up the town We used to solve a difference With a digging match and a jar But now they’re all playing bang-bang That’s going too bloody far And we all went up to the Mero Hey there! Who’s your man? It’s only me guardian angel Get a large one for your man There’s no use bleedin` rushing Sure now it’s the holy hour A plenary indulgence And another baby power
4.
Every day’s Exactly the same Running around and going nowhere There’s never time enough to go where You really want to be Jumping through hoops Breaking your back Trying to find out what is real Or even how it makes you feel And whether this is all there is You got to get your shit together and come out and play Quit skipping stones, quit skipping stones It’s never easy when you’re living out On the edge Nothing to do Wasting your time Fiddle about and watch the world turn All around you while you sit there Without a goal in life Spit in the sea Mucking about Trying to live your life alone Squeezing blood from every stone But there’s nothing to be found You got to get your shit together and come out and play Quit skipping stones, quit skipping stones It’s never easy when you’re living out On the edge
5.
Met a fair maid just down the road Ooh-ooh what a beautiful girl Saw her as she stepped up off the boat What a beautiful girl she was And her hair was long, her lips were red Didn’t look away, looked at me instead So I turned to her, walked up and said What a beautiful girl she was She turned and smiled from ear to ear Ooh-ooh what a beautiful girl And I told her all the things she wanted to hear What a beautiful girl she was Well she stopped her pace and smiled and said “Why thank you sir,” how do you like that? “I was all alone, I’m glad we met” What a beautiful girl she was Oh if I could court that lass Ooh-ooh what a beautiful girl I would be a man most blessed What a beautiful girl she was For she is fair and she is right A daring girl, my heart’s delight Such beauty I could not deny What a beautiful girl she was At night she showed up at my door Ooh-ooh what a beautiful girl Looking even better than before What a beautiful girl she was Well she’d done her hair and smelled all sweet And asked if she could stay with me Now that she’s all mine to keep What a beautiful girl I’ve got
6.
Let me tell you the tale of ol’ Mary Kildare She’d the greenest of eyes she had long golden hair She’s the belle of the town but sailors beware Don’t try nothing stupid ‘cause Mary’s been there And if you think you’re the one taking her home Think again soldier, you’re going home alone A wealthy man’s riches, they might make her moan But not more than once, he’s left on his own And if you’ll just listen and hush down your voice You might hear the boys, singing of her exploits Singing Mary goes ‘round Mary goes ‘round Just one look at her will have you jump up and down Mary goes ‘round Mary goes ‘round She’d done all your friends before your feet touched the ground Now the scene it is set, but the legend lives on Of ol’ Mary Kildare and her hunger for fun Now the men of the town they all live by the gun But don’t shoot too slow, ‘cause Mary’s long gone Oh she doesn’t care if you finish or not The second she’s done, she’s back in her spot To pick up a new guy to see what he’s got See if he’s capable, give him a shot And if you’ll just listen and hush down your voice You might hear the boys, singing of her exploits Singing Mary goes ‘round Mary goes ‘round Just one look at her will have you jump up and down Mary goes ‘round Mary goes ‘round She’d done all your friends before your feet touched the ground “Oi, Mary, you want to come over to my place?!” After some decades of living this way Ol’ Mary got older, her hair turning grey The men still kept coming ‘cause she knew how to sway Them all into thinking, that it was okay On her last day poor Mary slept with the wrong swain He gave her the clap, but she didn’t complain The men tried to save her, but it was in vain The illness had spread, and yet reached her brain And if you’ll just listen and hush down your voice You might hear the boys, singing of her exploits Singing Mary goes ‘round Mary goes ‘round Just one look at her will have you jump up and down Mary goes ‘round Mary goes ‘round She’d done all your friends before your feet touched the ground Now the women were cheering and every man cried The boys disappointed, they were too young to try The girls were excited to be next in line It was a black day in town when poor Mary died And if you’ll just listen and hush down your voice You might hear the boys, singing of her exploits Singing Mary goes ‘round Mary goes ‘round Just one look at her will have you jump up and down Mary goes ‘round Mary goes ‘round She’d done all your friends before your feet touched the ground
7.
I’ve spent my whole life getting plastered Every one and other day Rum on weekdays, whiskey weekends There was Guinness everyday I never got a woman For more than just a night But I was too busy drinking So I didn’t really mind Tonight I’m staying in Tonight I’m staying in Tonight I’m staying in with you There never was a drawback My body young enough No limits but a blackout Yeah, I was feeling tough Still after some years I still called it a life My beer career is passing I’m taking a dive Tonight I’m staying in Tonight I’m staying in Tonight I’m staying in with you Nowadays I only drink Every other day I'm cutting down my daily dose Yeah this is my new way A drink every second night Keeps the doc at home I cut my habit for my belle Now I’m skipping stones Tonight I’m staying in Tonight I’m staying in Tonight I’m staying in with you
8.
The night was dark, the fight was over The moon shone down O’Connell Street I stood alone, where brave men perished Those men have gone, their God to meet My only son was shot in Dublin Fighting for his country bold He fought for Ireland, Ireland only The Harp and Shamrock, Green, White, Gold The first I met was a grey-haired father Searching for his only son I said “Old man, there’s no use searching For up to heaven, your son has gone” The old man cried out broken hearted Bending o’er I heard him say: “I knew my son was too kind hearted, I knew my son would never yield” The last I met was a dying rebel Bending low I heard him say: “God bless my home in dear Cork City, God bless the cause for which I die.”
9.
Recently kicked out of school My friends thought it was really cool My education has been put on hold another year But now I’m working all day long I’m getting big, I’m getting strong And I made some money from the books I sold It’s been my best and worst day all at once I wrecked my liver tore my gums But the doctor dentist made them look alright It’s been my best and worst day all at once I went insane messed up my puns But the shrink and linguist made me think alright Arrested just the other day They locked me up inside the jail I don’t know what to do I guess I’ll wait until I’m free But now that I’ve got time to spare I’m guessing that it’s kind of fair That while I’m in I’ll rehabilitate It’s been my best and worst day all at once I wrecked my liver tore my gums But the doctor dentist made them look alright It’s been my best and worst day all at once I went insane messed up my puns But the shrink and linguist made me think alright After my lobotomy I swear to god it’s hard to see The difference between the bottom and the top side of my head But now that part’s been cut away It’s easier for me to say They turned me right, I’m no longer messed up It’s been my best and worst day all at once I wrecked my liver tore my gums But the doctor dentist made them look alright It’s been my best and worst day all at once I went insane messed up my puns But the shrink and linguist made me think alright
10.
Lift MacCahir Og your face Broodin’ o’er the old disgrace That Black Fitzwilliam stormed your place and took you to the Fern Grey said victory was sure Soon the firebrand he’d secure Until he met at Glenmalure with Feach McHugh O’Byrne Curse and swear, Lord Kildare Feach will do what Feach will dare Now Fitzwilliam have a care Fallen is your star, low Up with halberd, out with sword on we’ll go for by the Lord Feach McHugh has given the word “Follow me up to Carlow” See the swords of Glen Imayle They’re flashing o’er the English Pale See all the children of the Gael Beneath O’Byrne’s banners Rooster of the fighting stock Would you let a Saxon cock Crow out upon an Irish Rock Fly up and teach him manners Curse and swear, Lord Kildare Feach will do what Feach will dare Now Fitzwilliam have a care Fallen is your star, low Up with halberd, out with sword on we’ll go for by the Lord Feach McHugh has given the word “Follow me up to Carlow” From Tassagart to Clonmore There flows a stream of Saxon gore Oh, great is Rory Oge O’More At sending loons to Hades White is sick and Lane is fled Now for black Fitzwilliam’s head We’ll send it over, dripping red to Liza and her ladies Curse and swear, Lord Kildare Feach will do what Feach will dare Now Fitzwilliam have a care Fallen is your star, low Up with halberd, out with sword on we’ll go for by the Lord Feach McHugh has given the word “Follow me up to Carlow”
11.
Two more pints before the night is over Two more pints before we’re going home Two more pints before the pub is closing Two more pints, just get me two more pints A lifetime is over we’re down on our luck The job sites are closing not making a buck We have to step up get away from the ruck Tomorrow we’re leaving, now off to the pub So get me Two more pints before the night is over Two more pints before we’re going home Two more pints before the pub is closing Two more pints, just get me two more pints Packed all our things and we left for the quay No doubts, no regrets there’s no reason to stay The ship’s leaving port, we’re sailing away To the horizon and a better day Six months at sea we’re exploring new lands Hoisting the flag with our blistering hands Dangerous waters alarming the men Let’s turn her around get away from the strand So get me Two more pints before the night is over Two more pints before we’re going home Two more pints before the pub is closing Two more pints, just get me two more pints The turn came too late now we’re losing the fight Where the waves hit the beach we’re losing our might There’s a hole in the hull there is water on deck The ship’s going down soon we’ll just be a wreck So get me Two more pints before the night is over Two more pints before we’re going home Two more pints before the pub is closing Two more pints, just get me two more pints The wreckage has left us all broken and torn The words speak of courage unheard of before But we’re still alright and get back on our feet Not backing down, not admitting defeat So get me Two more pints before the night is over Two more pints before we’re going home Two more pints before the pub is closing Two more pints, just get me two more pints Two more pints, just get me two more pints

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released June 27, 2015

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The Royal Spuds Leiden, Netherlands

A bit of punk, a pinch of good old rock music and whole lot of folkie tunes is what The Royal Spuds call throwing a party in style!

Be it studio, festival or concert venue, these guys feel at home everywhere. So, if you want a party, you know where to go!
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